and i know that he knows i'm unfaithful
and it kills him inside to know that i am
happy with some other guy i can see him
dying
i don't wanna do this anymore
i don't wanna be the reason why
everytime i walk out the door
i see him die a little more inside
i don't wanna hurt him anymore
i don't wanna take away his life
i don't wanna be...a murderer
~ Unfaithful - Rihanna
"This is what upsets her most to admit that the
affair causes her to feel strangely at peace."
~The Namesake - Jhumpa Lahiri
The above two somehow give me similar sense.